Experts at the Fall

 

“Why, I feel all thin, sort of stretched, if you know what I mean: like butter that has been scraped over too much bread. That can’t be right. I need a change, or something.”

This quote from Bilbo hit me this past week when my baby had RSV,  my toddler craved my attention, and my house fell to shambles.
I found myself wondering many times throughout the week if any other wives/moms ever feel like this.

But I knew the answer- Yes. The answer is yes. Always yes.

How many times have you asked yourself “Any other wives/moms ____?”

I regularly catch myself asking this question.

I just read the enneagram personality book, and as I read the chapter on type  twos I felt like I was reading a chapter written about me, like all my secrets were being exposed to the world.  Then I realized it’s simply saying that other people are just like me. I also realized that other people are just like my husband.

My point is, we’re not as alone as think we are. Or as unique. Or as terrible. Or as good.

I’ve been told I should write a book about all the stupid things I do to make people feel better about themselves. Well I’m not going to do that, but I will tell some stories that I think will help other people realize they’re not alone.

I’m going to go back to pre mom me, when I was a fresh little army wife who didn’t know the difference between Ranger School and Ranger Regiment,  TriCare Prime and TriCare Standard, or CONUS and OCONUS.  I didn’t know what the heck BAH, PCS, EIB, OIC, MWR,  FTX, or OPORD all meant. I had no idea what I was in for. (truth: military spouses have no idea what we “signed up for”).

Any other moms feel as lost as I did? I can answer with certainty, YES.

I’m at a point in my time as an army wife where I’ve begun to confuse which army base I met someone at, where I was when I did this or that, and which time of being at said army base did such and such happen.
And again, I know I’m not the only one.

So, here are my two most embarrassing army spouse moments. (seriously I think I win most embarrassing stories EVER.  But friend like me, if you’re reading this, these stories are for you).

The first was when Buddy was at Ranger School. After they pass the first phase they jump into the second phase *like out of an airplane, not like a little skip, hop, and jump over a line drawn into the ground.*

Family and friends got to go watch, and General Miller, the Commanding General of Fort Benning at the time, came out as well. He  personally introduced himself to all the family members. When he came to me, he shook my hand ( I HAD NEVER MET A GENERAL IN MY LIFE BEFORE) then asked me, “What’s your husband doing.”

I stared blankly for a second and said hesitantly, “He’s jumping…” (almost with a question mark, because… isn’t that obvious?).

“Yes, I know he’s jumping,” he responded with a roll of his eyes, “Is he a student, RI, etc?”

I had no idea Ranger Instructors jumped as well.

He then asked me who my husband was (this is a question I never know how to answer because Buddy is Buddy, but he’s really James, but he’s really really Craft, and if you’re getting really army formal  he was at the time 2lt Craft)

I don’t remember what I said, but turns out he knew him…

**Life hack: if you want to blend in don’t marry the guy who ALWAYS stands out.

And that’s my story about how I embarrassed myself in front of one of the most respected Generals in the army.  The good thing is, I’m sure he has no memory of me.

Now for the winner…When Buddy was in IBOLC, the wives logged miles individually to walk or run the same amount of miles the guys logged over the course. At graduation we received “blue cord” bracelets, to match the Infantry blue  cords the graduates received.

Well, my husband failed to tell me how this was going to happen. After pinning on Buddy’s blue cord I returned to my seat, while ALL THE OTHER WIVES lined up against a wall on the far side of the auditorium. I don’t wear my glasses to formal events so I didn’t see them doing this.

All of a sudden I hear “Where is Mrs. Craft?”

I sat there in my seat, content to simply watch the ceremony, and thought, oh how interesting, there is another Mrs. Craft here.

I hear again, louder this time, “Mrs. Craft?”

Then I hear in a loud whisper behind me, “Larissa, go get your bracelet.”

Then from across the room I hear, “Honey! Get over here!”

OMG they’re looking for ME.

All eyes turned to me as I grew red as a tomato and walked silently across the room to line up with the other girls, so wishing I had never done the challenge. This happened in front of SGMs, Generals, instructors, wives, parents, Buddy’s peers.

In reality these embarrassing stories prepared for me for motherhood, because these moments now happen more and more.

I know I’m not the only sleep deprived, slightly crazy, stretched over too much bread mom who can’t remember obvious terms.

Last night I couldn’t remember the term for the team/ player “favored” to win.

I asked Buddy, “Whats the word for the team that is supposed to win, ya know the opposite of the word for the team that is supposed to lose…ummm the underdog? Updog or something?”

Buddy in all seriousness says, “yea, Updog.”

When Anastasia had RSV, our house fell to shambles, I didn’t shower for … well… and  I didn’t put her down for three days straight. Like any sane mom, I lost my sanity concerning myself with the comfort and health of my baby.

One afternoon I changed her diaper, looked down at the wipe, and saw that it was covered in red. I looked in her diaper— no red in there so no blood in her urine, it must have come from her raw bottom. I texted my friend whose a LNP asking if that could be a side effect from her meds.

Then out of nowhere the truth hit me.

DORITOS.

I had just eaten Doritos and they stained my hand which in turned stained the wipe and here I am thinking my baby has blood in her urine, naturally assuming she’s very seriously sill.  So there I am staring at the Dorito stained wipe, sleep deprived, a 3 day bun tangled and falling  around my shoulders, covered in spit up and boogers, not sure if I want to laugh or cry- what is this life??

I may be the only mom who has ever done that, so who knows, maybe it does make you feel better about yourself.

All this to say,  we are all like Bilbo, scraped over too much bread.”

Take care of your babies, take care of your marriage, take care of your house, take care of your dogs, volunteer, work,  take care of yourself. Put yourself first, put yourself last.  Don’t forget who you were before you became a mom. Don’t lose your mind.

The difference is, we’re not Bilbo.

We’re not stretched because of our folly or an unhealthy obsession- we’re not stretched because of sin. But  because of love.
We’re stretched because we’re mothers, wives, housekeepers, employees, volunteers. We’re stretched because we have an abundance of love to give, and an abundance of those to receive said love.

So next time you find yourself asking “any other moms…” Just know the answer is yes.

Greg Laswell sings it perfectly, “This ones for the worn down, the experts at the fall, come on friends get up now, you’re not alone at all.”

It makes me wonder why moms often feel so disconnected, so alone, when motherhood is the one thing that connects so many.

I for one find comfort in knowing I’m not the only one. Hopefully you can too.

We are all experts at the fall.